I didn’t expect becoming a mother to feel so bittersweet.
I thought I had done everything I could to prepare, to be ready.
My first child, Solomon, arrived early. He was tiny—just four pounds—and spent his first 20 days in the NICU. Physically, he was strong. Emotionally, I wasn’t. I smiled for my family and told everyone I was fine, but at night, I cried to myself in his nursery and to sleep. I didn’t realize how much I had been carrying until someone finally asked me how I was doing.
Becoming a parent is a journey. It changes you. You may have been self-assured, a go-getter, top of the game in whatever career you have. You were the best friend, the person that people called on. But when you become a parent, all of a sudden, you’re responsible for your baby 24/7. You’re carrying that emotional labor all day long, and it turns physical, too. You do forget to take care of yourself.
– Sara
That moment came at our first pediatrician visit after Solomon came home. After checking my son, the doctor asked my husband to step out and looked me in the eye. “How are you doing?” she asked, not as a formality, but as a genuine question. I broke down. Within minutes, she connected me to HealthySteps. That was the first time someone asked how I was doing, not just how my baby was.
1 in 5 US mothers experience a mental health condition during pregnancy or the first year postpartum.¹
HealthySteps improves maternal depression screening rates, increases referrals to resources, and reduces symptoms.
HealthySteps met me where I was, emotionally and through connection with services and supports. They set me up with a lactation consultant who helped me figure out breastfeeding after weeks of frustration, and a counselor who supported my mental health when I felt overwhelmed and exhausted. Group sessions connected me with other moms who understood what it meant to feel anxious, unsure, and isolated—especially during COVID.
Those group calls saved me. We talked about everything: exhaustion, guilt, child care, relationships and even the little things like self-care. I learned that it was okay not to be okay, and that help didn’t mean failure.
“HealthySteps gave me permission to say what I was really feeling—and the support to move forward. It literally saved my life.”
As my son grew, HealthySteps was there with us. When he was dealing with severe eczema on his face and cradle cap around 4 months that would not go away despite the pediatrician’s efforts, I got connected to an advanced nurse practitioner who found a remedy that worked.
Again, around 20 months, when he was diagnosed as on the spectrum, they helped me navigate early intervention services. When I needed child care resources, or he was having asthma, they had answers. And when I became pregnant again, I was better prepared, from knowing how to make sure my baby got a protein-rich diet to knowing I had a community to turn to.
My second child’s birth was different. I took care of myself. I asked for help. I set boundaries. HealthySteps didn’t just support my children. It helped me show up as the mother I wanted to be. I’ve cherished every coo, every smile, every milestone—and the beautiful bond forming between my daughter and my son.
HealthySteps didn’t just help my family survive—it helped us thrive.
No book, website, or checklist could have replaced what HealthySteps provided: real people, real connection, and real support when I needed it most. Every new parent deserves that kind of care.
Sara is a mom to a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old, who are the lights of her life and give her purpose every day. Sara participated in the HealthySteps program at Children’s National in Washington, DC and has also been part of their HealthySteps Family Advisory Group. She is also a member of the national HealthySteps Family Advisory Group. Recently, she was recruited by Children’s National to participate in Georgetown University’s Project as a community health worker and support other parents with mental health support and services in Anacostia in DC. She is a director at a health care association.
¹ Association of American Medical Colleges. (n.d.). Maternal mental health. https://www.aamc.org/about-us/mission-areas/clinical-care/maternal-mental-health
Related Resources
-
One Step at a Time
Christina, a HealthySteps mom, shares how her HealthySteps Specialist connected her to the support and resource she needed.
-
Becoming the Mom I Knew I Could Be
Working in daycare for 13 years, I’ve seen a lot of children grow up. But raising your own baby is different.